


Where I Belong

by Mylittlelion



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Bull Feels, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 13:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mylittlelion/pseuds/Mylittlelion
Summary: Bull has not seen Lara in over 24 hours, which is very out of character for his Kadan. When he finds her in her room looking like she has just had a brush with death he does not know what to expect to come out of her mouth.It really isn't what he thinks it is going to be.





	Where I Belong

Bull had not seen his Kadan for about half of the day, which was very weird for him. Normally Lara would come by the tavern at least once a day to come and talk to him and the Chargers. If not to see him Lara would normally come to drink the night away with Krem or even come to train with the Chargers. But she had missed the morning training and they were in the middle of the evening training and there was no sign of Lara anywhere.

“Hey, Chief! You should start paying attention or you are going to lose your other eye!” Krem called next to him. Bull looked down at the smaller man, Krem was holding his sword in one hand and his shield in his other. Damn Bull had forgotten that they had been in the middle of a fight. “You would think that hit to your side would bring some sense back into you. Your head is definitely somewhere else today.” Krem said Bull watched as the younger warrior walked toward a training dummy and begin to strike it.

“Hey get back here and finish training Krem,” Bull yelled to his lieutenant as he walked to catch up with him.

“I’m getting about as much push back from this dummy as I am you today, Chief. So how about you pull your head out of your ass and start fighting back. Or does the qunari want to talk about his feelings?” Krem mocked at the taller man. Bull gave him an annoyed grunt and placed his own shield on the ground along with his sword.

“Have you seen the Inquisitor today?” Bull asked Krem, trying not sound too concerned for the whereabouts of his Kadan. Krem stopped striking the dummy to take a moment to think, Krem seemed to be kind of confused by the questioned. Krem turned to look at Bull with the same confusion on his face.

“You know now that you mention it, I haven’t seen Lara today. Which is really weird because we talked about drinking after training today. Normally Lara would come by and say hello, and it isn’t like Lara to miss training.” Krem put his sword down into the ground making it stand up on its own and placed his thumb under his chin and curled his pointer finger on the point of his chin. Krem thought for a second before he spoke again “You know I haven’t seen Lara since we had our night time run together yesterday. I just thought that maybe she was resting up and taking it easy.” That wasn’t good, it wasn’t unheard of for Lara to disappear for an hour or two for some alone time, but for either of them to see her in over 24 hours? 

That has never happened before, Bull tried not to show to the worry he was having on his face but he must not have been doing a very good job. He was getting rusty after being outside of the Qun for as long as he has been.

“Oh don’t worry you big softy, go look up in Lara’s room. I’m sure something happened and she is just in her room taking it easy.” Krem said giving Bull a soft punch in his arm, Bull groaned again before agreeing with Krems idea. Bull walked away from the training yard and up into the main hall of the castle, making his way past all of the noble, past the entrance to the war room, and over to the door to Lara’s chambers.

Opening the door he could feel like something was up, the feeling in the air was something along the lines of despair. Which put Bull on edge right away, he really wished that he had brought a weapon with him. As he walked up the two sets of stairs he could still couldn’t hear a thing, which is very abnormal for Lara’s room as she is normally shuffling around paper and groaning a lot over the idiocy of the nobles she has to work with. When he reached the actual room he didn’t even see Lara at first, but after a second of looking around, he spied her sitting in a chair looking out of one of the large windows of her room. She looked like a mess.  
Bull meant this with all of the love in his heart for his partner, but she looked like she had yet to sleep, her hair which was normally slicked back perfectly was a disheveled mess, she was still in her long nightwear shirt. Bull walked closer to his Kadan, he thought that it would be a good idea to speak before getting too close.

“Kadan, are you okay?” Bull asked watching as the small elf jumped in her chair whipping her head around to meet his gaze.

“Creators ma'arlath! Don’t scare me like that!” Lara yelled at Bull. Her yelling did not seem to be in anger, more of a surprised yell so Bull didn’t take it to heart.

“I should say the same thing to you Kadan. I haven’t seen you all day today, is this where you’ve been?” Bull asked walking over in front of the chair where Lara still sat. Lara gave him a small sigh and leaned forward, bring her hands to face and resting her elbows on her knees. 

Bull took notice of her replacement limb that her sister Adele made for her, Bull didn’t fully understand it but it was magic based. It moved just like a normal arm, it had carvings on it which Bull understood to be the symbols that made the arm move. Bull remember Adele explaining it to the two of them, basically it would move how Lara needed it to even be able to hold up her War Hammer when she fought. All she had to do was to make sure she laid the arm in a bowl with a lyrium potion overnight every night and it would work just fine. From what he could tell the limb was working very well, Bull watched as Lara rubbed face with her hands and gave another sigh but this time it was much more drawn out than the last one.

“Yeah I...I got some news and I don’t know what to do about it.” Lara said face still in her hands. Bull decided that it would be easier to talk to Lara if he wasn’t towering over her any more than he normally did, so he placed his back on the window and slid down the sit on the ground.

“You know I won't poke and prod to get information out of you, that is the one thing I promised myself I would never do to you. But you know that I’ll listen if you need me to Lara, but I’m not going to make you talk if you don’t want to.” And Bull was being 100% honest when he said this, he wasn’t going to make Lara talk if she did not want to. Lara picked her head up out of her hands and met Bull's gaze, and now he could see when she had hidden her face. It had been a little while but Bull could tell that she had been crying, and it looked like it had been a long and hard cry.

Even though Lara and Bull had been together for about 2 years now there are still things that Bull has never seen her do and there are probably things he doesn’t know about her. One of those things Lara has never done in front of him was cry, Bull wouldn’t have cared if she did but Lara is a very closed off person so crying was one thing she hated to do in front of anyone.   
“No...talking about it. My sister says that I should be more open with you about things that are bothering me, so I guess this is something I should tell you.” Lara took a deep breath before starting up talking again. “Did I ever tell you that I’m half dwarf?” Well that was not something that Bull thought was going to come out of her mouth

“Ugh...no Kadan I don’t think you did. But that makes a lot of sense, what with your vertical change and all.” Bull told her trying his best to keep the mood light in an attempt to raise her mood. It seemed to help even if it was just a little as Lara laughed, it also seemed to cause her to want to be closer to Bull as she slid out of her chair and onto the floor next him. Bull wrapped his one of his arms around her shoulder making sure that she felt comfortable.

“Yeah yeah, that is why I’m 5 foot 1 in, keep poking fun at my height vhenan.” Lara stopped talking for a moment as if to think about what she was going to say next. As she was thinking she leaned into Bull's body as if looking for comfort, Bull took noticed that she did this a lot when she felt uncomfortable. Lara continued “It is also why I have much darker skin than most elves, and why my connection to the fade is much weaker than my siblings and mother. It’s also why when I went into the Eluvian most of it was gray for me, like Varric.” Bull didn’t know that her vision was gray when they went into those damn mirrors. But that makes sense why she never committed on the colors in the crossroads. 

“It’s something that I don’t really like to talk about,” she continued “My clan never really saw me as a full elf, and it was the cause of a great deal of pain for me.” Bull felt Lara lean in closer to his chest, Bull pulled her in a little closer trying to give her some kind of the comfort that she was looking for. 

“Well you didn’t just come to the realization that you are half dwarf, so do you want to tell me what you are really upset about?” Bull asked turning his head to make sure that he could read her face. Lara was quiet for a moment, Bull watched as her mouth opened and then close again at least 3 times. “You know you don’t have to tell me Kadan,” Bull repeated himself one more time, just to make sure that Lara understood that she could stop if she wanted to. Lara started to pick at skin around her fingers on her original arm with her prosthetic hand, a nervous tick Lara had that Bull noticed the minute they started seeing each other. 

“I don’t know who my father is,” Lara started, placing her good hand between her thighs in an attempt to stop her from picking. “My mom said she couldn’t even really remember his name, she only told me that he was dwarf and she told me what he looked like.” Lara was quiet for a minute or two, sitting in silence was never really any issue for the two of them. Lara always told Bull that it a comfortable silence for her, and Bull always found himself thinking the same.   
“So earlier in the month I started thinking about my future,” Lara laughed a little and so did Bull  
“You hate thinking about the future Kadan.” He stated, he knew Lara loved to live in the moment she never really liked thinking too far ahead in her life stating that it was easier to see what life threw at you.

“Yes I know that I would not do so if not out of need. I need to start thinking about my future, about our future really.” Lara told the large man sitting next to her, Bull had almost no idea what she was talking about but now was not the time to question her thoughts.

“Anyway, me thinking about my future caused me to start thinking about my past. A past that was not very kind to me, and then that made me wonder what my life would have been like if I had my father around.” Bull noticed that Lara was digging at the skin around her thumb with her pointer finger, even if it was between her thighs that was not really stopping her habit. “So I gave all the information I had about my father to Lilliana, to see if maybe she could dig something up for me. If I’m being honest with you I was really hoping he was dead or didn’t want to see me, because that would make things a lot easier.” Lara stood up after finishing her explanation to Bull, walking over to her desk on the corner of the room. Bull stood up and followed her over to whatever she was getting ready to show him. 

Lara picked up a small stack of papers off of her desk, she gripped the papers in her hands for a moment and then looked up at Bull “These are papers that Lilliana gave me about a week ago on my father, he lives in Kirkwall still and he works in the merchants guild.” Lara shuffled the first page of Liliana's report to the back of the others, Bull watched as Lara read over the one more time. “His name is Deacon Thoar, he has been doing the training with the Dalish for the merchants guild long before I was born. I’m unsure of how long Dwarves live, but if this number is right he has been trading with them for about 30 to 40 years now.” Lara finished her sentence as she moved the first page to the back and started reading over the next page.

“Can I read over those Kadan?” Bull asked walking over to stand beside Lara. Lara looked at him but did not give her a verbal answer. Instead she just grabbed the two pages she had finished looking over again and handed them off to Bull. After taking them from Lara he scanned over them, and it looked like Lilliana had done this scouting on her own. The papers were written in her handwriting, and Bull was sure that Lara wanted to keep this under the table there was no need to have people questioning why she was using the Inquisition resources for. Because this scouting and research was done by Lilliana herself Bull was sure that everything that was said in the report was accurate.

“He wants to meet me Bull, and I don’t know what to do.” Bull heard Lara said, Bull barely heard what she said it was so quiet. “After I got the reports I contacted him, I don’t know why. Maybe I was just hoping he would turn me away and tell me to never write him again.” Lara told her boyfriend as she laid the pages back down her desk. “That isn’t what happened, I got his letter yesterday telling me that he has been looking for me for most of my life. My mother sent him one letter after I was born to tell him that I was born and my name. Which also means that my mom knew his name and knew where he was, but she just decided not to tell me.” Lara was silent and the room turned back into the same mood it had been when Bull walked into the room the first time. The air was filled with silence until Bull heard it break with a soft sniffle that came from the small figure next to him. 

Bull turned his head and saw Lara covering her face with her right hand, trying to muffle the small cries coming from her mouth. Lara brought her left hand up to her eye to whip away the tears that were rolling down her face. Bull’s protector switch flipped as soon as he saw a tear hit one of the papers on the desk, he slammed the papers back down on the deck and pulled Lara close to his chest.

“Kadan, you don’t have to cry.” Bull’s voice was almost a whisper, which he almost never does. He only ever found himself using this voice with Lara, weather it is late into the night when he is moaning her name or when they are talking softly as to not wake up the rest of the camp when they were out of missions.

“P-Please don’t look at me. I hate doing this, I hate crying so much...it makes me feel…” Lara trailed off, not finishing her sentence, but Bull didn’t need her to finish to know what she was going to say.

“Crying makes you feel weak, is that right?” Bull felt Lara give him a small nod while still having her face buried in Bull's chest. He knew that feeling all too well, while he never had that feeling that much as an adult, as a child under the Qun he found himself thinking that something late at night. Bull brought in hand up to Lara’s hair and started to stroke her brown locks, trying to give her any kind of comfort that he could offer.

After a couple of minutes Bull felt her body relax against him and the sniffling stopped. Soon after Lara lifted her head to meet Bull’s eyes, the hand that was stroking Lara’s hair moved to her cheeks. Bull cradled Lara’s cheek and whipped away the last tear from her face, Bull felt Lara lean her head into his hand bring her own hand up to utop Bulls own hand. Bull gave Lara a smile which was reflected back at him, Bull really loved Lara’s face when she smiled she always came off as so serious he was happy to be able to see her in a different light.  
Bull bent his neck down to give Lara a kiss, thankful Lara met him halfway getting up on her tiptoes to meet his lips. This wasn’t like their normal kisses, mostly tongue, teeth, and moan that came between. This was a kiss that they only shared in their most intimate of times, it was a kiss that said all of the words neither could bring to say. It was a kiss that said “Don’t worry I’m here.” and it also whispered “And I’m never going to leave you”. When the kiss was over the two touched foreheads and looked at each other for a moment before Lara let her feet fall back to the floor. It was silent between them before Bull spoke

“Kadan, I never knew my parents, that is just how things were in the Qun. So I don’t really understand the wanting and needing to meet your Dad. So if you want to stay in Skyhold and never talk to him again then I will support you doing that.” Bull told her as he walked back over to Lara’s desk. He looked back down at the papers that were now scattered across the desk, picking up the paper that had a small drawing of what her father looked like. If Bull was being honest he looked like Varric but with a full beard, but he could still see Lara when some of his facial features. He looked at the paper for a minute longer before handing it over to Lara, giving her one of his award winning smiles.

“But you know that isn’t want I want, right?” Lara said giving him a smile laugh taking the paper from him.

“Yes that’s right. Lara I know you want to know more about him, and if that means that we go to Kirkwall tomorrow and we go lookin’ for her dad. Then that is damn well what we will do.” The room fell silent again as Lara pondered the thought for one more moment, studying the paper like she was never going to see it again.

“Get ahold of Varric, see if he can take time off from being Viscount to come and see you. Also see if Krem can come with us, I am going to get on my Sending Crystal and see if I can somehow get Dorian down here in a week. The Inquisition is very low on mages nowadays, hopefully he has some free time for us.” Lara walked to the desk and started to gather up her papers putting them back in order, she stopped for a moment and looked up at him “And of course you will be coming with me.” she sassed at him giving him a smile 

“Like the lost puppy that I am Kadan” Bull sassed back at her “I’ll go tell Krem the plan, you go ahead and see if fancy pants can take a moment for us commoners.” Bull laughed as he picked up one of the papers to give to Lara. Grabbing the last of the papers she put them in place clipping them together. Bull heard her clear her throat before she spoke to Bull.

“And ma'arlath...Thank you for staying by my side to help me. I don’t know what I would do without you here.” Lara placed the paper back down on her desk then grabbed onto Bull’s larger hand. What Bull wanted to say was that he didn’t know where he would be without her, he has no idea what he would have done with his life. He most likely would have gone back the Qun and done his Life just for the Qun. He wants to tell her that he wants to continue living his life for her, as long as she will have him. But he designs to give her a quick peck on the cheek and give her a sassy remark.

“Honestly you would probably still be sitting in that chair if hadn’t come in to save your ass!” Bull laughed after finishing his sassy remark, feeling Lara’s fits connect with his arm. Damn that woman really knew how to hit. “Oh man Kadan, that almost hurt me!” He teased at her one more time, Lara gave him a playful smile before pointing to the exit for the room

“Get going you giant cow of a man! We need to start planning for this trip, we only have about a week and then we are heading out. If you aren’t there I’ll just leave your ass.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so I hope you liked this, I may add more later on to this but I am just not sure yet. I just kind of wanted to write down some stuff for Lara but then it turned into a 10-page fanfic lol. Also, I almost never see Inquisitor/Iron Bul fanfics so I thought "Well I guess I will just make my own stuff." 
> 
> I want to write about her going to find her dad and meeting him but I just don't know when I will get it out. If you want to see it let me know...maybe I can bounce some ideas off of Y'all lol.


End file.
